Millions of Questions

start over?

2009-11-17T11:08:00.000-08:00

A fresh foot. A new beginning. It’s like in school when grades actually begin to matter, you see a fresh page with no grades recorded yet. A potential “A” could be looming. Not here! I’ve never been able to push myself to that level of achieved perfection. I’m completely satisfied with my “B” status.

Not really. With another year of life being put behind me tomorrow, I tend to wonder how long I’m going to accept second. You see, I’m the oldest child, the first born by a good 9 years. For all you that wanted to be an only child, I was. For all of you that wanted a sibling, I had one. I got both, sometimes even the best of both. Why do I feel second?

That’s a loaded question.

To say the least.

Knowing that the expectations of me have dropped, making a much easier mark to achieve, I feel that I have been trampled. Held up as a beacon, then tossed like an expired incandescent bulb.

In short, life doesn’t have a next semester…….

loyalty to who???

2009-03-23T05:33:00.000-07:00

I visited a church for the first time last night. I absolutely loved it. They are a budding church, they are currently using a High School auditorium for their worship meeting. I felt the Holy Spirit move as the body of the church, acknowledged God’s ordination of a person to the position of teaching and leading others. Unfortunanly, anyone that knows me is expecting it and here it comes…….

“Loyalty and Service to God, Country, and Home”

That is embossed in across the top of the stage, above the curtains. I just sat to think about the irony of the three terms together with loyalty and service.

I actually thought of a skit that I saw while in the youth group of this church’s pastor. You see an “executive assistant” for some business being a personal secretary for two different people. Being told often to be in two places at one time. As the short sketch progresses, the assistant becomes tired and worn down. Usually it’s humerous and the assistant turns quickly to the audience and proclaims, “What? I’m not the only one who serves two masters.” Wow, it hits hards.

Think about it again, how many masters is this quote telling us to serve, Loyalty and service to God, Country, and Home. I count at least two. I don’t understand how one can serve and be 100% loyal to both God and County at the same time.

"I owe no duty to forum, campaign, or senate. I stay awake for no public function. I make no effort to occupy a platform. I am no office seeker. I have no desire to smell out political corruption. I shun the voter's booth, the juryman's bench. I break no laws and push no lawsuits; I will not serve as a magistrate or judge. I refuse to do military service. I desire to rule over no one - I have withdrawn from worldly politics! Now my only politics is spiritual - how that I might be anxious for nothing except to root out all worldly anxieties and care." Tertulian

I owe nothing to my country. My country can not save me, my president is not able to provide me with salvation. Too often in this nation we are taught to rever and worship our political leaders. Stating our favorites with shirts and bumper stickers. Allowing them into our homes to campaign.

Jesus commanded us as visitors in a strange land to render to Cesar that which is Cesar’s. Most people who know the story also know that Jesus’s was speaking of the lawfulness of paying taxes to Cesar. In Roman times Cesar was treated as God. His image was on coin and money. The money bearing his mark, was his. Look at the American money. Once again, we have idolized our leaders in an effort to immortalize them.

Look at the American economy, even among those known as Christian. They are begging Cesar to fix their problems. So now, we have asked one person to deciede who’s life is most important for a “bailout” or economic mercy and salvation.

Why do we still seek for man to redeem us?

Sorry this took so long

2009-03-13T04:43:00.001-07:00

This will be short and sweet. No sweat appearal (pun intended) is produced in the USA by 100% union labor. They are treating people like people.

Check them out and show your support.

I'm giving up exploiting people with what I purchase.

2009-02-03T17:14:00.000-08:00

I have made a resolution today....For the next year all of the clothing and apparel I purchase for myself and as gifts will be sweatshop free or second-hand. Even in the United States about 50% of all garment shops have enough labor violations that they can be considered sweatshops.

What does it take to be considered a sweatshop you may ask? Good question, all you must do is simply violate two of the following simple basic labor regulations regarding, child labor, minimum wage, overtime and fire-safety laws.

I know it seems simple but think about it a little deeper...

Take for instance child labor: In the US we allow children to work but want them to concentrate of being a kid, ie going to school. WE put restrictions on the ages of kids that work in what conditions. There is only one reason that a 13 year-old would work with industrial equipment and that is b\c children are cheap labor and poor wages and harsh living conditions coupled with poor healthcare means that school and kid life is out of the question and providing for a family is essential.

Let's move on to wages...this is interesting...minimum wage. MINIMUM wage, that means the lowest possible wage allowed by law. This is often not even enough for one person to live on much less support a family on. Overtime. The people producing our garments are working an excess of 60 hours per week and not recieving minimum wage much less a living wage, then for icing we don't compensate them for the time extra spent working.

Finally Fire-safety violations.

Know what they make at garment factories? Clothes. Know what catches on fire and burns really fast? CLOTHES. Many timesfire exits are locked or blocked by shelving and machinery. Loose wires dangle from machines and danger is imminent. With cloth hanging all over the place one tiny spark could create an inferno in moments. Cooking everyone inside. Don't most people get paid extra for working in hazerdous conditions?

I'm only me and I can't make a difference you say? I'm only me too and I feel the same way. However there have been many "only me's" that felt they could make a difference and provide garments and other items that are sweatshop free. Paying workers a living wage and encouraging unions.

I will be back with much more on this soon. I think I have found my niche and I am excited about it.

I will do some surfing and get back with some awesome companies to check out for promating fair trade.

My thoughts on Gay Marriage and How I got There

2008-12-23T14:44:00.000-08:00

I don’t remember much except that I was in my dad’s truck as he was taking me to school and I asked what a homosexual, bisexual, and heterosexual was. It was explained so simplistically that it made sense. Same gender, different gender, and either gender. I don’t remember if there was really anything after that or not conversation wise. I was young and I guess it didn’t matter b\c it didn’t stick. At least now I knew the difference.

In middle school, I noticed that I had crushes on girls. My first year, 6th grade was spent outside of Christian education, so I wasn’t in a shelter so to speak. I don’t remember the issue of homosexuals coming up to much but I remember the girls. The next year I found myself back under the auspices of Christian education in an extremely conservative school. This was the first time I heard gay used as an adjective to describe getting a detention.

Everyone said it was gross and when you’re a seventh grade akward girl wanting to fit in…you simply agree, ok, it’s gross. That went on for years. Then is my freshman year of highschool, same school that I went to for 7th and 8th grade though just different set of teachers.

Judy LaRose was probably a little under 4 ½ feet tall, a few pounds shy of 200. She had dark gray hair that was bobbed just below her ears. When she spoke you could hear concern and Christian love. I remember sleeping at my desk during English class that year and someone had managed to get her off the subject of English and Literature and onto homosexuality.

“Gay people are going to hell.” That was the final. Done. No Arguement. I went back to sleep. I never paid much attention to this. I knew what I felt but always just figured that I’d be single all my life. Mrs. LaRose’s rants on homosexuality were considered common place by the second semester of high school. Then, for some reason I seemed to have more knowledge of the “gay secrets” than my classmates. I still don’t really understand why b\c I’m not big on pop-culture. I’d usually just join in their jokes making fun of people and the whole she-bang.

Then I got hit on by a female and didn’t know how to respond. I was utterly confused. Soon I began to find myself challenging statements made by my teachers saying “Gays are going to hell” with “Strait people are too, but that’s not why they’re going”. I tended to find myself in the principals office quite often. Finally instead of confronting me, they told me to go to the band room. I immersed myself in music. Music always made me feel better.

It could of also been the comfort I found in my band room. In here, I was a leader for a while. It wasn’t what you were that mattered but what you brought to the table. I was committed, I arrived before school, spent free periods, study halls, and lunch in the practice room of my band room.

It was not until my senior year that I gained the confidence I needed to confront these people that spread evil propaganda. I gained that confidence by meeting someone that challenged me as a whole. Not only in my musicianship but in life. I was inspired to break the barriers other people built in front of me and forge my own path. Not to accept the status quo simply because it was the status quo. This instructor taught me more and gave me more insight than any other teacher I have had. I felt normal again, yet special still. i knew that there were other people like me out there.

The next few years of my life I wavered a bit with what I wanted to do. Hell, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I knew I was gay, and I knew that was ok no matter what my family said. They did come around, some more so than others but that's a different story.

I was taught that marriage was simply a permission slip to have sex and at first that was the only real reason to get married. To a degree this feeling is still alive. It was not until I re-read the book of Ruth in the Old Testament that I realized I too wanted to be married.

Readers Digest condensed version of what spoke to me...

Naomi, her husband and 2 sons left their home land and went to live in Moab where the 2 sons found wives. The men died. Naomi told Ruth and The other woman to return to their families, one did, Ruth did not. This is the scripture that is used in marriage vows, the words Ruth spoke to Naomi, "Where you go, I will go, /where you eat I will eat, your God will be my God and God willing nothing but death shall seperate us."

I'm not saying that Ruth and Naomi were married, I am saying that their commitment to one another and God is admirable and I would like to make that same vow to Amanda in front of God.

Obama and Rick Warren Together Again

2008-12-18T06:44:00.001-08:00

So, Obama has picked Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at his inauguration. Despite my views on the mega church and homosexuality, I like what Rick advocates. In words he fights for those in society that are stuck in poverty, dying of aids, and many other things that I feel strongly about. I don’t know the actions that Saddleback takes to counter these issues but the words are nice.

They are just words, I don’t understand how you can tell one group that they are ok to help, but another group that they are sinful and shouldn’t be helped.

Personally, I don’t care what people think about homosexuality. I care about humanity. There is nothing humane in knowing that if something happened to me, My parents hold claim to Amanda’s money and possessions because she and I can not enter into any contract giving us rights to inheritance. I don’t understand the humanity in leaving children in foster care when caring parents want to take care and sacrifice for a child but are told they are unfit b\c they are homosexual.

The significance of Warren delivering the invocation at Obama’s inauguration: Obama has picked many cabinet members that he disagrees with on certain issues. Why should we expect this pick to be any different? Imagine if the pick had been Rev. Jeremiah Wright, how would the right take that? Was this perhaps Obama’s way of reaching to the evangelicals?

I guess to know what this pick means would require me to know the extent to which Obama relies on this guidance in his decisions. I was never a big Bush (the president) fan. Many people I know supported him 110% because he was a Christian and relied on spiritual guidance in his decisions. At least that was their reasoning. Let’s look at what has been said:

"This debate is a thinly-veiled attempt to break a consensus that is quietly being forged in this country. A consensus between Democrats and Republicans, liberals and conservatives, Red States and Blue States, that it's time for new leadership in this country - leadership that will stop dividing us, stop disappointing us, and start addressing the problems facing most Americans."I personally believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. But I also agree with most Americans, including Vice President Cheney and over 2,000 religious leaders of all different beliefs, that decisions about marriage should be left to the states as they always have been."
That is what Obama said after Proposition 8 passed in California. My take on the first paragraph is that it caters to the people advocating for rights but doesn’t state his willingness to join the cause. He is simply saying that uber-consevatives are using gay marriage as a political tool to keep the party line divided and conservatives on their side. He is telling the truth, conservatives were using these issues to keep the evangelical vote. It worked for quite a while. The second paragraph states the President-Elects views:

Marriage is one man and one woman
Marriage should not be federal.
Anything missing?

When I heard these remarks live and now reading again, I have the same feeling that these words are so luke-warm. I can’t help but to think that Obama was courting the gay vote because he needed it while secretly wooing the evangelicals. I really think that our president elect has duped some if not most of the gay population. I’m not saying that equality is going to take steps backwards but we are not moving forward by leaps and bound the way many people said we would by having our first black president.

I really believe that Christianity is a humanity focused view point. Scriptures encourage us to humble ourselves to others. Walk in their shoes so that you can understand where and how to help them. I don’t believe that Rick Warren or Obama have been in my shoes. Perhaps Obama has been closer but he has never had to worry about what would happen to his wife if he were to die.

There isn’t a person that can contest the inheritance to his wife and children. This is a reality that gay couples live with daily. Yes, we can go and pay attorney’s to draw up papers for us and many of us do. This is an extra cost that heterosexuals don’t have to do. Then, when the time comes to use these papers they are sometimes contested by a next-of kin that hasn’t been there for years b\c they disagree with the lifestyle. Now, not only did we have to pay to have the papers drawn, we now must pay this attorney or another one to defend the work they have done. What part of humanity does that to a person? Why would someone want to make a difficult time more difficult?

To add a small bit of personal dogma to this:
I have felt that the American Society and government claim to be Christian but are for too corrupt to substantiate that claim (organizational not personal). A document can not be Christian because to be a Christian one must have a personal relationship with God. Inanimate objects can not have a personal relationship with anyone. My relationship not being accepted by a corrupt institution does not bother me. Goodness breeds goodness and evil breeds evil. I do not want to corrupt something that I have, something God gave that is good, with something evil.

Conversations With Mi Madre

2008-12-14T12:18:00.000-08:00

So, Everyone has issues with their parents and my mom and I are no different. We agree to disagree on many things. She was brought up in a small country church in mid-Florida, her grandfather was the pastor. She is very fundemental to say the least.

I think that is enough history to know that if I'm going to write about conversations with my mother, it's gonna be heated. Not really, sorry to disappoint. It's more my reation to other people talking to my mom.

She believes marriage is man and woman and all that jazz. She has very conservative views on many things. She and I will get into it. During the election months this issue was forfront here in Florida. My mom was asked to place a sign in the yard in favor of the current amendment here in Florida. She declined, even though she did support the legislation, she was opposed to having it in her yard.

Now comes my irritation and conversations with her. I was told that it was out of respect for me that she declined putting the sign there. She did not want me to feel unwelcome (that and my dad was opposed to it and there would be a no sign next to it, that would of been worth seeing!). My mom didn't want me to feel uncomfortable, what about other gay couples in the neighborhood? If I weren't gay, the sign would of been up and the children whose parents are gay would see it everyday as they walked home from school.

I tried to pull myself out of the obvious bias on the subject. I thought about another group of people, illegal imigrants. Just the name alone gives this group of people a sense of inferiority. Who are we to say that because you were not born on American land, I am better than you. I have lived in a farm community and seen people dehumanized simply because they are given an illigitimate status.

One group cast aside because another group feels that they aren't as good, or deserving. This has happened though history, whether the group is used as a scapegoat or as laborers. Humans have been dehumanizing each other for the sake of what?

Imagine This Economic Plan

2008-09-22T11:58:00.000-07:00

The theory of Jubilee from the old Testament.

First, the basics: From what I understand God commanded His people to forgive all debts every 7 year period, and every 7 of those seven years (so every 49 years) land redistribution.

How could it help us today: Just in America alone there is a homeless and poverty stricken population that is detestably large. Consider the GNP were to actually be split evenly among every person living within the borders of this nation. I’m sure that there would be quite a few people upset that their vast fortunes are being taken but….in the long run I think this would pay off.

The argument that was first posed to me, was:

What happens when people just squander their money?

Great, it goes all back into our economy. Knowing that every 49 years you will “get it back” will cause people to not worry about their future financial security nearly as much. This will lead to increased spending because we will all have more disposable income become the need to provide for future generations is not there.

This will bring technological learning to a hault.

This would provide people the opportunity to do what they truly want to do. For the folks that want to farm, they could farm without the worry of having the land taken from them. Single moms would not have to take menial jobs just to care for kids, they could stay home if they wanted, or go to school for what they really want to do.

Let me know what you think, what else do you think could go wrong?

I think that more could go right and adults may even learn compassion.

Jesus For President

2008-08-01T09:30:00.000-07:00

I just finished this book by Shane Claiborn and Chris Haw. Jesus For President has caused me to re-think the way I look at politics. As a young American I have been told that the most important priveledge I have is the ability to vote.

Did Jesus vote? Would Jesus have voted? I don't think so after reading this. I've always believed that our political system was corrupt. I don't believe that is was ever non-corrupt. In the early church Christians were not the law makers, they had no say in what the laws that governed them said.

Thus they were not tied to those laws, they were bound by laws that Jesus gave them. To love and to minister. I don't see a candidate that fits the description of love and minister. I don't see love in politics at all. As a Christian who should I vote for? What would Jesus do?

I think he would simply abstain.

running running and more running

2008-06-24T19:50:00.000-07:00

Two days in a row now! I know I'm not qualifying to be the next all-American athlete but it's good to get active right? I think I'm actually jumping on this bandwagon way late. Aren't I?

Yesterday's run was about 2 miles and todays was 1.5. Obviously I'm not even thinking about bragging on my conquest. I've had a membership to the gym for about 4 months now. I went really well at first and then it's tapered off since having surgery, I had another excuse after that, I don't remember what it was, now my eye is killing me.

I have a cyst in my tear duct that is driving me wacky with pressure behind my eye. It is an excuse, I think a very good one because it hurts!!

Back to the subject at hand, I would like to actually participate in a 5K run locally within the next 6 months. With some training and hard work, maybe I won't even be the last one to trapse across the finish line.

Moving on up!

2008-06-23T16:09:00.001-07:00

I think I'm going to move to a new apartment. The new pad is about 3 blocks from where I live now. I love downtown so much that I don't want to leave. With the gas prices rising like they have, it's very convenient to be able to walk to work. Someday the public transit here will be worth something but until that day, I can walk.

Unfortunantly, Amanda works a good bit further away, I think she is going to be taking a bus a riding a bike quite a bit more often though. The new place actually has a place where we can park off of the street so no more parking tickets!!!! I know it's absolutly rediculous that I've lived here for almost 2 years and I've still not gotten a parking permit. I have recieved plenty of parking tickets though (stupid nazi's in their little carts!).

The main reason for the move is that my little sister wants to move out. This makes me a little bit nervous because she is wanting freedom. I'm sure she will get some but I'm afraid she thinks I will let anything go. I remember myself during my first year of college, it was my only year for a while. I refuse to let her make the same mistakes.

I know that I learned from what I did, I want her to learn from what I did and not from her repeating what I did. Time will tell as it does with everything. I will just have to trust that my example now is speaking louder than my example then.

I want out

2008-06-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had that feeling that your life has no point? Not a depressed type of pointless but just that the direction is not going to impact anything at all. I am simply just exhisting.

I want to have more purpose. I want to affect people's lives and make them better. I want to be on the front line of charity. I don't know how.

I don't mind giving up everything I have and leaving this country for another if I knew that I could help in some way. I want to work with people who appreciate life and understand how precious it is.

Yesterday was World Refugee Day. I guess it hit me that there are so many people out there that have no home, no family, and almost no hope, just hold on to whatever they can just because they understand how precious life truly is.

Why is America so selfish? Not the majority, but many of the "haves" as opposed to the "have nots". Our celbrities have money yes, but not nearly the amount that the oil tycoons, and big buisiness owners have. Why do we need to exploit our wealth just because we have it? Why must we show that we have more? What does that accomplish? Honestly, just walk around naked and be honest about how big your dick is and get over it.

By no means do I have alot but I am more than blessed with what I do have. Now, understanding that there are people that will never even understand what LCD technology or light rail transportation is, it doesn't seem like that big of an advancement. Why not bring food to millions of people starving in famine ridden countries? Why build multi-million dollor condo's that stay on the market for years when there are people living in cardboard boxes on the street below, or worse yet, people left homeless because a damn broke and destroyed theri home over 2 years ago.

I'm not mad at the world, I'm mad at myself for not trying to make a difference.

Is it worth it?

2008-06-17T15:43:00.000-07:00

I've said many times that I don't understand what the big deal about marriage is. I had been treated failey equally everywhere with Amanda. There is the comman legality type of thing that were over come by a simple power of attorney and common annoyances when a new teller worked at the bank, even that was overcome by someone we knew explaining that we were married. I actually heard those words mentioned "Think of it as if they were married, it's ok to do it in that case."

Amanda is loved by my family and accepted as if she were my spouse. I've grown up in a very fundemental Christian home. My mom gives me advice that she gained from experience of being married. As far as the parents go...the children question is still iffy (which is fine with me b\c I don't want any) but we are accepted as a couple.

The government does not accept our committment but I don't care about what they think anyways.

Today it hit me on how hated homosexuality is. Here is the story...

Amanda's grandfather died last week and I let my office manager and firm owner know that I would more than likely be out for at least one day of this week. I recieved many condolences from both the firm owner and assistant office manager.

Today the office manager returned from about 3 days of sick leave. I had not even stepped though her office to my own to begin my day when she explains: (This is the first communication she had with me since she left)

"I got your e-mail but you're not going to like what I have to say: If you want to take a day off then you will have to use your vacation time b\c bereavement leave is only for a personal relative or a relative of your spouse"

Well....I'm obviously not married but still, I've been with Amanda longer than some of the other people in the office have known their husbands. I know that the owner of the firm would have a much different take on this but I struggle with whether or not it is worth it to fight her. She's catholic. She lets that be very known through out the office, giving the other catholics time off for morning services, paid time off by the way.

Perhaps I'm just hurt but honestly, I expected it. Why am I so surprised?

I'm so in love!!

2008-06-14T18:30:00.000-07:00

I've known it for a while and everyone who knows me personally knows that I love Amanda. Nobody truly knows how much she means to me. I really don't even think she knows.

Amanda,

You are the love of my life, I am more than lucky that continue to deal with me on a daily basis. Thank you so much for being the person you are and helping me to become the person I am, and the person I will be. I often take for granted you willingness to serve and do things for me, I'm sorry. I will try to do better. You are patient and peaceful to my opposites. You calm me when I'm excited and excite me when I'm depressed. I wish other people could truly understand the love we have for each other. I could never love someone else like I love you.

You are one of a kind and there will never be another person that touches my life the way you do. I can't wait for eternity with you. Eternal happieness among the ones that we love. I want to grow old next to you, never leaving your side. I want to be your crutch when you can't walk, I'll feed you when you can't feed yourself. I want to take care of you when you can't care for yourself. I want to be whatever you need. I want to love you in every way shape and form possible.

I'm thankful that I have you. I thank God everyday for letting me have you while we are here on earth.

- Jen

Honest Answers from a Gay Christian

2008-06-11T12:51:00.000-07:00

Honest Answers

I stumbled upon a blog today unfortunately since I am not a member of the forum, I was unable to post I response.

http://christianforums.com/showthread.php?t=7246542

The poster seemed to be someone brought up in the same world I was: Conservative Christian values that dictate the actions one takes in life. The Bible would seem to contradict the gay life-style and visa versa. This person had “honest questions for the gay Christian” I intend to use this place to honestly answer those questions.

The questions seem simple:

honest questions to gay christians
I am a little confused when it comes to gay christians
How do you follow the command to multiply and inhabit the
earth?
Are God's laws pertaining to incest still relevent today?
What about fornication?
Have you ever experienced a loving sexual relationship with a spouse of the opposite sex?
If not, why would you want to ruin something that God may have in store for you in the future by acting out on your impulses of today?
If so, why are you not with that person. Was it your attraction to the
opposite sex that destroyed the relationship?
I'm not throwing stones, just genuinely curious.
Open homosexuality seems to be on the rise. What percent of the worlds population do you suspect is gay or bisexual by birth?
Why do you think there is no mention of gay christians in the new testament?
Do you beleive that a person has the ability to control his or her thoughts. Do you think that God has the power to help change a willing persons thoughts/emotions?
Do you think our society is obsessed with sex and that it should be something more
sacred, private, holy?

Well, here goes...

How do you feel about the command to multiply and inhabit the earth?

Personally, I don’t like this command in the literal sense b\c I don’t want children. I feel that children are an integral part of a family. I feel that a complete family has children. The world we live in today falters in our care of children and elderly. This command was given to Adam. This literal command was given when the world was beginning.

During his time on Earth, Jesus spoke with a Pharisee. A new concept was levied on this person of “born-again”. “How am I to do this? I can not re-enter my mother’s womb” was his response. Indeed no adult or child can re-enter the womb after birth. During my time in Christian education it was said repeatedly that accepting Christ makes you a “newborn child of God”.

In response: this the command given of “Go forth and multiply” coincides with the Great Commission given after the resurrection of “Go ye therefore and teach the gospel (good news) to all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”

The reason that the Jews of the Old Testament were given this command was to spread the law so that all could live accordingly. This command is telling me to life my life as an example of Christ extolling Him in all that I do that I may be an example to others, bringing them to their “new birth” in Christ.

Are God’s laws pertaining to incest still relevant today?

All of God’s laws are still relevant today, yesterday and tomorrow. There is a reason that God gave us a law, and a reason as to when He gave us that law.

For some reason, I can’t escape a story of Peter spoken in the Book of Acts, perhaps it may be relevant.

Jews were given the commandment to not associate with the gentiles. There was much debate among those in the early church as to theology. Did one need to be a Jew prior to becoming a Christian? (after all Jesus was Jewish.) Could one become a Christian without first being of the Nation of Israel? It was the Jews that were God’s chosen people and not the gentiles. There were strict laws governing the interaction of Jews and Gentiles for the Jewish community of then.

Well, Peter was fasting one day. He was on the roof of the house he was staying in praying (hungering for the Will of God). He fell asleep and had a dream. A large sheet was being lowered from Heaven, on it was a feast for a King. A gentile king, one that eats the forbidden foods such as pork, lobster and other foods that contradicted the Jewish law. God’s voice then told Peter “Kill and eat”. Peter responded the way any good Jewish boy would “No, I won’t disobey my God’s law.” (Kinda weird, God told him it was ok but Peter still said no). Once again God’s voice sounded and Peter refused saying “I have never disobeyed your law and eaten any unclean animal.” Finally a third time “Kill and eat” before Peter could even finish his refusal to eat, the sheet was lifted back to Heaven and God boomed “What I have made clean, let no man say is unclean.”

Peter got the clue and left the next day to eat in the home of a Gentile. The Bible doesn’t get into the specifics of how Peter felt about it, we just see that he did it. After learning for years that something is wrong and believing that something was a catalyst to his salvation, it would be kinda difficult to just throw it out the window because someone told you so. In this case it wasn’t someone it was God speaking to Peter through a dream while he was fasting.

We learned that Peter was so hungry that he was seeing things, and God spoke to him in this broken state of being and Peter was weak enough to understand.

A question in response: What restrictions are humans placing on salvation that God does not?

What about fornication?

Paul actually spoke more about than Jesus did. Jesus spoke of adultery very harshly as he did divorce. Sex is a gift from God and can be used to His glory. “In all that you do, do it as unto the Lord”. Marriage until about 100 or so years ago was more of a business deal, Ensuring property, status, and protections for women with few rights.

A commitment between people to remain faithful to their commitment fist to God and second commit to help the other person keep their commitment is a marriage. In this, there is no place for fornication.

Have you ever experienced a loving sexual relationship with a spouse of the
opposite sex?

No, I firmly believe that if I had, I would still be there. Not because of sexuality but I firmly believe that sex has no place outside of a committed relationship. Also, the word spouse denotes a marriage (sanctioned by government law). This question and the connotations brought with it are very deep and require too much to answer among others. I will elaborate my views on this if desired.

If not, why would you want to ruin something that God may have in store for you
in the future by acting out on your impulses of today?

By not entering into a marriage with just any male, I left myself open to the possibility that God may have plans for life that are larger than simply a nuclear family. There is a possibility that God’s plan for me may include something not given to others. I see this as a gift. I get to experience more encouragement from God simply by reading His Word that is truly alive and changing. I have been given the gift to see these changes and experience His great grace in ways that my heterosexual counterparts may not be able to, (or want to).

If so, why are you not with that person. Was it your attraction to the opposite
sex that destroyed the relationship?

No matter what type of relationship (gay or strait): Destruction was simply b\c one or both of the parties neglected the original purpose of the relationship. I think this fairly well encompasses Christian and non-Christian marriages.

Often the intent is not discussed prior to the commitment being made.

Open homosexuality seems to be on the rise. What percent of the worlds
population do you suspect is gay or bisexual by birth?

As Jesus said, “Some men are born eunichs, some are made that way by men, and some do it for the sake of the Kingdom.” It doesn’t matter to many how many born that way, made that way, whatever. I believe that the Christian should see this as a mute point. We are commanded not to judge, and this rational poses a judgement on a person that only God can make.

The desires of the heart are not to be judged by man, but rather by God.

Why do you think there is no mention of gay christians in the new testament?

Because it doesn’t matter. There was also no mention of a Pope, there was much spoken against the government of the time of Christ. Jesus was specific when he spoke about the law. He often disregarded what was believed to be the universal interpretation of the time. Jesus was actually angered by the actions of the church going in and throwing over the tables of those selling animals for sacrifice.

Jesus caused a large stir that effectively split the church of the time. He was the ultimate heretic by speaking truth.

I believe that the Old Testament story of Ruth and Naomi is a beautiful story about how two women had a child that led to Christ. (Ref. genealogy of New Testament)

I will be more than happy to elaborate on this as well.

Do you beleive that a person has the ability to control his or her thoughts. Do
you think that God has the power to help change a willing persons
thoughts/emotions?

Jesus said that if a man looks at another women and has contempt, he is guilty. We must have some portion of control. We can control the input 100% which will lead to the output.

I believe that God changes the heart, which leads to a transformation of the person. The change you get may not be the change you want. A Christian should strive to fulfill the will of God in their life.

Usually change is brought, but that change is a different level of understanding.

Do you think our society is obsessed with sex and that it should be something
more sacred, private, holy?

Easy question: yes.

The issue at hand is not society, we live in the world of sin. Sin will not conform and become holy. If there is an aspect of your life that hinders you from a life with Christ, that is a sin.

For one person, their career could be sinful b\c they neglect to serve Christ through that. Another person could have the same job and do the exact same thing but this does not hinder that person. Sin can be original to a person or group. If a person knows that God has called them to live a life of family and God’s will is for them to have 5 children and they willfully reject this, their life of celibacy is a sin b\c it contradicts God’s will for their specific life.

I have answered these questions as honestly as I feel I can. Please feel free to respond with comments.

How Do We Know?

2008-06-05T17:58:00.000-07:00

How do we know?

Discrimination seems inherent in humans, inescapable almost. The birth of discrimination in this nation was when it began. No, before that, we were the minority, the puritans, the ones that didn’t acknowledge the king as head of the church. Our forefathers were ostracized due to their religion. Founded on basic freedoms we have the Freedom OF Religion, not the freedom FROM it. Interesting. Understanding that people believe differently, our forefathers gave us the freedom to choose how we believe. So believing nothing is believing. Since there was obviously a lack of uniform code that everyone was to follow our glorious Constitution was developed, based on much of the Christian law.

I can’t seem to find a time since that of pre-Constantine and around the time of Nero that Christians were persecuted by someone other than themselves. Perhaps there was a time that the Muslims may have had an upper hand for a while but only in certain areas.

Once again Christians seem to be the persecutors. Paul warned us about the false teachers. Constantine is known as the person that brought Christianity out of persecution and made it the State religion. While forcing everyone to convert, Constantine didn’t convert until he was on his death bed ensuring his salvation if the Christians were right while enabling him to live how he wished during a majority of his life. Is this the example Christ wanted me to have?

The history of the Church that is the head of my religion has a bleak and seemingly hypocritical past. Why then should I believe that the Church is correct now? I see the same happenings that happened the last time a “sacred God given institution” was under attack. In retrospect we realize that this threat was no more a threat than a minnow is to a shark. On the contrary our past actions are indeed what were contrary to the Scripture.

My only question is…How do we know we aren’t wrong again?
How do we know that we have this Christian law correct? What if we are wrong?

To Be or Not To Be? Gay that is.

2008-06-04T17:46:00.000-07:00

It seems that it's easier to be gay today than it was 30 years ago. Maybe that's why it seems like they've multiplied since the 70's. However what happens if you're a Christian too?

Which came first the chicken or the egg? Which came first the Christian or the Gay?

Becoming a Christian is most assuredly a consciouse choice, however I'm still out on the homosexuality avenue. I myself am gay however I don't remember when I said, "I want to be gay". I do remember when I went up to my pastor and told him that I wanted to be a christian. That was a choice I made. Another choice that I made was to allow myself to date a person I was attracted to. The latter was a much more difficult choice to make because of the first.

Does it even matter? I know many people that would not associate with me if I constantly reminded them that I'm a church girl. Most of them know, some others are like me. Sinners covered in grace that can admit what we are.

I'm bad about refrences but Paul said somewhere that everything is permissable but not everything is beneficial. Are there benefits to kingdom that a gay person can offer that your typical fundementalist can't? I think so. For instance, I can talk to another gay person without their defenses going up right away. I can sympathize with their struggles. Many times, I can minister to them, and assure them that God loves them.

After all, isn't that what's important? Love. What else did Jesus teach us to do?

I hope that eventually someone will read these and respond!

I'm Jennifer and I'm pissed off

2008-05-20T07:48:00.001-07:00

Why is it that because I’m white and I’m more partial to the white candidate, I’m labeled as racist? Quite frankly, I think that Hillary would be a better president than Barak. I like the ideas that Barak has but don’t understand how he will get them past the republicans. Unfortunately, our nation has become divided, or has remained divided. There are not many issues that even have a common ground to being agreements on.

I think the nation agrees

we want to be protected.
We want to be profitable
We want to have a positive impact on our future.

How in the hell is any of this going to be accomplished? I don’t think Hillary, John, or Barak have a clue. Each of these people claimed between them and their spouse over 2 million in income for 2007.

Where is the candidate who represents me? I want to purchase a home and stop paying rent, however, my full time job does not pay the amount necessary for that. I have a choice, I can either
1. Get a second job
2. Go to school
I’m currently a student but even tuition costs are skyrocketing and my pay rate increases a measly 5% each year (that’s only if my performance is up to par). Food and energy costs have increased together more than 100% over the past year and my income went up 5%.

I believe that issues such as gay marriage have no place in this years election. I’m sorry yall, I want to get married too but…there are bigger fish to fry this year. California recently set up parking lots so that people can safely sleep in their cars. SAFELY SLEEP IN THEIR CARS. This is ridiculous, most companies are posting losses and the oil industry still posting record profits.

Apparently proportionally their profits are the same as everyone else’s they just invest more so the payout should be more dollars. No. Does not make sense to me that a 10% profit is directly proportional to the investment, and a different industry investing the same amount posts a 10% loss. It’s not the same.

Please America let’s repair ourselves and stop fixing other nation’s problems, we’ve got even bigger ones now.

The Gay Christian Speaks

2008-05-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

I've read many blogs accusing Christians of thwarting the Gay Rights Movement.

I would like to make a large clarification Pat Robertson, Tim and Beverly LaHay, George Bush, James Dobson and the many other like them do not represent all Christians. I personally do not like being lumped into that group. On the other side, I also do not like being grouped as anti-Christian because most gay people are.

Being a Christian is about striving to live serving others to truly feel rewarded. Jesus often taught that in order to follow Him, you must deny yourself. Not deny who you are but what you are, an imperfect being among other imperfect beings. Admitting you have a problem is always the first step to recovery.

As humans we desire "things", often times relationships focus on "things" whether they be rights, rings, or pre-numps, even children. I'm thankful that God made me the way I am. I have a deeper appreciation for the marriage commitment that if I were not how I am. I hope that one day I can get married. I do not think that marriage is a piece of paper that grants you rights, permission to procreate, or a relationship. Marriage is a commitment between two people and God. Two people commit to help, serve, and care for each other and raise people to respect that and other commitments.

The sanctity of marriage does need to be reclaimed, possibly by witnessing these gay relationships lasting upwards of 50 years with no recognition or rights given by the State. I am still young but I have loved one person, and I still love her. I am convinced that God brought her into my life and affter 7 years I still believe that even more.

I ask everyone, please don't speak ill of any other person because that creates animosity and breeds anger. Perhaps in serving others and blessing those who curse you, your point will not only be heard but understood.

Christian Homosexual?

2008-02-12T17:26:00.000-08:00

Ok, So I'm going to attempt to approach this subject just for fun and my own self improvement. According to various Pauline epistles, it seems obvious to any American that taken literally the Bible condemns any act or thought of homosexual activity. In that same area of scripture, divorce is equally equated with homosexuality. I come to this deduction by Jesus' speaking of divorce taken literally that if anyone divorces and then remarries they LIVE in adultry.

Why is divorce and remarriage ok now?